Top Ten Signs You’re a Mom

[fb_button]   Besides obvious things like the fact that you pee your pants when you sneeze, here are the top ten signs you’re a mom.  You know, just in case you’re so sleep deprived at this point that you’re not really even sure whose kids those are… You might be […]

Wake Training your Husband

[fb_button]   Sure there are supposed “proven” sleep training techniques for your baby, but once you’ve tried swaddling, pacifiers, swings, black out shades, noise machines, blow dryers (yes this actually works sometimes), inclined beds, cryyyyyy it outtttt, stomach sleeping (without telling a soul, of course), stuffed animals with heart beats, […]

Seven Things Wives Want Their Husbands to Know

[fb_button]   Preface:  Men, try to keep your rage fit under control.  This is just for fun.  Women, enjoy 😉 Seven Things Wives Want Their Husbands to Know 1.  I’m not a passenger seat driver; I’m just a thoughtful navigator. 2.  Yes you can in fact use the bathroom in […]

Father’s Day Pin Fails

[fb_button]      So… as usual, I was feeling like a bit of a fail.  This time it was because of the holiday formerly known as Father’s Day now known as “Opportunity to Show Off My Latest Pinterest Wonder Day.”  While I’m not always great at cooking, I am actually […]

I Want to Kick a Bunny

[fb_button]   WTF have I done to myself? Yesterday, I decided to try to teach my 3 year old to be nice to wild animals. It started because a budding little sociopath befriended my son at the playground. This little boy, whose mom looked about as high as Lindsay Lohan […]

No Bikini Looks As Good As Cake Tastes

[fb_button]   There it was; the wedding cake in all of its glory.  Standing tall on a pillar above the dance floor, it looked at me with a gleam in it’s icing that said, “Eat me… no… devour me, and I will pleasure your mouth in a way no dessert […]

Soccer: The Reason I Poked My Eyes Out on Saturday

[fb_button]   You know how when you’re pregnant and they say, “he’s gonna be a soccer player!” Yeah so… apparently that’s not quite accurate for my oldest child despite all of the abuse my uterus took while he was ninja-ing around in there for nine months. We had our first […]

The Very Hungry Mommy

[fb_button]     I dedicate this to all of the mothers who have gone years without a hot meal and as a result, have suffered from hanger.   In the light of the moon, a mom lay in her bed each night. Every morning at the ass crack of dawn […]

Happy Wife = Happy Life: 10 Rules for Husbands to Live By

[fb_button]   1.  A little wine and romance will go further towards getting me in mood than humping my leg like a horny golden retriever.  Also, helping around the house will have the same effect on me as alcohol does on a high school girl on prom night. 2.  If […]

Stuff I Never Worried About Before Kids

[fb_button]   I’ve done a post on this topic before, but when I spend time with childless friends, it never ceases to amaze me how different my life is. One big change since becoming a mom has been to the things I worry about in my life.  I went from routinely […]