Some sources claim that up to 80% of people who set New Year’s resolutions will fail by the end of Jan let alone carry their goal through the end of 2013. What gives?
People are setting themselves up for failure. Bottom Line.
I know my blog usually involves more tongue and cheek humor than actual, helpful life advice, but let’s get serious for a minute about this setting yourself up to fail bullshit. I have some thoughts, and you should really listen to me.
Why should you listen to me?
Well, it’s rather simple really – I get what I want in life. Don’t go crapping yourself and start thinking that I was born with some spiffy silver spoon in my mouth. I wasn’t. I really wasn’t handed a life of pie in the sky with rainbows shooting out of my bowel movements. I swear.
Actually, I was born to two college kids, and our life “growing up” together wasn’t peachy at all (more on this). But… somehow, we all survived, albeit barely at times. And, somehow, I usually managed to meet the goals I set for myself.
“How?,” you ask. Or… you don’t ask, but of course I’ll share anyway.
1. I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions. I set goals when they’re needed and appropriately timed not just “because.”
2. I prioritize and stay realistic. People make these lists of like ten New Year’s resolutions. I’m like, “Really??? Oh yes that sounds totally realistic, and I’m going to smile while wearing a petticoat the next time my toddler shits on the floor and tries to clean it up himself with dish towels as we’re running out the door for our family portrait. Good luck with that list.” I too have a million things that I desire to do, be, and have, but I have a BABY and a TODDLER at home. I have to meet myself where I am, pick one or two things to focus on, and the rest simply have to wait.
3. I don’t set stupid goals like I want to be the next Donald Trump or have a body like Gisele. I do aim rather big sometimes, but not stupid.
4. I work really, really hard to meet my goals. (again, more background on this particular mommy blogger if you’re interested).
5. I know when to cut my losses. Dare I say give up? Sometimes I try to do something and later realize that it’s not worth it. At times, I’m more proud of myself when I walk away after recognizing that I shouldn’t do something than I am after accomplishing a particular objective. There have been times when I’ve achieved a certain goal at the sake of something else that should have been my priority. This is also known as knowing when to say no…
So, this year, the timing is right, and I have decided to make one, very simple resolution because I really need to do it. I need to change the way I talk to myself. Yes, I’m referring to voices in my head.
Instead of saying things to myself like, “ughhh, why can’t I handle my kids/life/job/etc.” when I’m really at my wit’s end, I need to say something like:
I’m a really good mom/person/employee/etc. I’m just having a bad day.
I’m not perfect. I make mistakes and struggle at times just as everyone does.
Parenting/life/work/etc. can be tough, which is why I’m struggling. Not because I’m not good enough.
If you too have decided to make a resolution, might I graciously recommend that you give yourself an opportunity to follow through by taking my [unsolicited] advice and meeting yourself where you are with a realistic goal that is really important to you.
You can do it! <— intended to be read in a water boy voice.