New Year’s Resolutions: Are You Setting Yourself Up for Failure?

 

Some sources claim that up to 80% of people who set New Year’s resolutions will fail by the end of Jan let alone carry their goal through the end of 2013.  What gives?

People are setting themselves up for failure.  Bottom Line.

I know my blog usually involves more tongue and cheek humor than actual, helpful life advice, but let’s get serious for a minute about this setting yourself up to fail bullshit.  I have some thoughts, and you should really listen to me.

Why should you listen to me?

Well, it’s rather simple really – I get what I want in life.  Don’t go crapping yourself and start thinking that I was born with some spiffy silver spoon in my mouth.  I wasn’t.  I really wasn’t handed a life of pie in the sky with rainbows shooting out of my bowel movements.  I swear.

Actually, I was born to two college kids, and our life “growing up” together wasn’t peachy at all (more on this).  But… somehow, we all survived, albeit barely at times.  And, somehow, I usually managed to meet the goals I set for myself.

“How?,” you ask.  Or… you don’t ask, but of course I’ll share anyway.

1.  I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions.  I set goals when they’re needed and appropriately timed not just “because.”

2.  I prioritize and stay realistic.  People make these lists of like ten New Year’s resolutions.  I’m like, “Really???  Oh yes that sounds totally realistic, and I’m going to smile while wearing a petticoat the next time my toddler shits on the floor and tries to clean it up himself with dish towels as we’re running out the door for our family portrait.  Good luck with that list.”  I too have a million things that I desire to do, be, and have, but I have a BABY and a TODDLER at home.  I have to meet myself where I am, pick one or two things to focus on, and the rest simply have to wait.

3.  I don’t set stupid goals like I want to be the next Donald Trump or have a body like Gisele.  I do aim rather big sometimes, but not stupid.

4.  I work really, really hard to meet my goals. (again, more background on this particular mommy blogger if you’re interested).

5.  I know when to cut my losses.  Dare I say give up?  Sometimes I try to do something and later realize that it’s not worth it.  At times, I’m more proud of myself when I walk away after recognizing that I shouldn’t do something than I am after accomplishing a particular objective.  There have been times when I’ve achieved a certain goal at the sake of something else that should have been my priority.  This is also known as knowing when to say no…

So, this year, the timing is right, and I have decided to make one, very simple resolution because I really need to do it.  I need to change the way I talk to myself.  Yes, I’m referring to voices in my head.

Instead of saying things to myself like, “ughhh, why can’t I handle my kids/life/job/etc.” when I’m really at my wit’s end, I need to say something like:

I’m a really good mom/person/employee/etc.  I’m just having a bad day.

-OR-

I’m not perfect.  I make mistakes and struggle at times just as everyone does.

-OR-

Parenting/life/work/etc. can be tough, which is why I’m struggling.  Not because I’m not good enough.

If you too have decided to make a resolution, might I graciously recommend that you give yourself an opportunity to follow through by taking my [unsolicited] advice and meeting yourself where you are with a realistic goal that is really important to you.

You can do it! <— intended to be read in a water boy voice.

the mommy blog website new year's resoltuion post image

photo credit: lululemon athletica via photopin cc

 

Comments

  1. Loved this Kelly and will say that I am with you on not making a bucket list of resolutions, because I would never be able to keep them and that is just plain stupid. However, I loved how you picked one thing to focus on and that one thing I do thing is so very important for moms in general. Awesome post and very well enjoyed!! Oh by the way, I see you got the Top Mommy Blogs Button centered :) :)
    Janine Huldie recently posted..Finish the Sentence Friday Blog Hop #1…My Profile

  2. Bravo!! Wholeheartedly agree with this! On my other blog (aimed more at weight loss and health called Who Took My Donut?) I wrote about resolutions and goals. To me, resolutions and those who make them usually suck. The goals are typically unrealistic with even more unrealistic expectations. It’s a flaming pile of dog turd! Get real, people! Set reasonable, attainable, and honest goals. Don’t set out to change the world. Set out to change YOUR LIFE one day at a time. Miracles CAN happen but they’re rare. Work your ass off and do the best you can. That’s all anyone can do.
    Kim @ Coffee Pot Chronicles recently posted..Saying Goodbye to 2012 in PhotosMy Profile

  3. Meredith says:

    Kelly, I need to bottle your perspective and carry it around with me. You are so on point! Go you for keeping such a healthy take on things and making them happen. I admire your hard work and think this is such a great take on resolutions!
    Meredith recently posted..I’ve Got Nothing Except a Little TVMy Profile

    • Kelly says:

      Well thanks. I too need to bottle it and carry it around because some days (feels like more often than not) I just want to lie down and quit!

  4. Just coming off a trip to the ER. Looking for advice to stay positive. I’m not perfect but just having a bad day. Thanks for the tips!
    Charlie Hendricks recently posted..Changing Your AttitudeMy Profile

  5. Kate M says:

    Hey there! I loved this post… I felt very down this past New Year’s eve. I am recently divorced and it was my first without my family around me. Friends seemed few and far between. I was wallowing in the woes of 2013. Reading your post helped put me in check. I referenced your blog on mine in my post A New Year (http://www.domesticallychallenged.net/2014/01/new-year/?preview=true&preview_id=1019&preview_nonce=5deedcead3) Thanks again, Kate
    Kate M recently posted..My Surprise Christmas GiftMy Profile

Trackbacks

  1. […] Something that I have not been able to get over is the loss of friendships that may occur because of a divorce. Sides are chosen and lines are firmly drawn about who was right, who was wrong, who was to blame and ultimately who they would continue their friendship with. This New Year’s Eve my husband had the kids, and I was left with two full days to myself. No work to do and really nothing else but a bit of housework to keep me busy. I have never felt as lonely as I did this past New Year’s eve, as I was left wondering what so and so might be up to for the evening. But unfortunately a lot of the friendships I had developed were greatly intertwined with my marriage and the activities that we used to partake in as a couple. I am not going to pretend that I didn’t notice a vast decrease in Christmas cards and e-cards. Divorce is ugly. Messy. The aftermath continues and flows over into many different aspects of your life. So here I was again reminded of why I was so ready to shut the door on 2013 and ring in 2014. Loneliness is scary. Alone. I felt alone in one of the deepest possible ways. There was no one in my immediate sights to build my future with, my time with my children has been drastically reduced, and my friendship with friends that I have had for years have vanished. Thank goodness for other bloggers who helped me feel as though I was not alone including Singlemomtism and Inthemomlight. […]

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