Would Ya Wednesday: My Husband Chokes on the Foot in His Mouth

 

For our first “Would Ya Wednesday,” I posed the question:

Would you rather have your husband tell you not to worry about your son’s new hot teacher because she is “way out of his league” OR would you rather find out after the job interview that your skirt was tucked into your panty hose almost showing your ass??

The Mom Light Facebook fans weighed in, and the majority of you thought it would be worse to have your underwear tucked into your panty hose for a job interview.  Most said that if their husband said something like the above, he would have been joking.

Well the answer is that I almost went into a job interview with my skirt tucked into my panty hose, but caught it at the last minute, which means that my husband actually did say the above, and here’s how it went down:

Me:  Did you see Tyler’s new, really pretty teacher?

David:  No.  I’ll have to check her out. (insert shit eating grin)

Fast forward to David calling me the next morning after dropping Tyler off at school.

David:  So, I just saw the girl you were talking about, and she is VERY, very attractive.

Me:  Oh, that’s nice. (read that in the heaviest sarcasm you can imagine)

David:  Don’t worry.  She’s totally out of my league.

Me:  Nice (sarcastic, obviously).  Don’t make me care what I look like again.  You know we already don’t have enough time in the day.  What if I had to add in working out, makeup, and tanning?  I mean when I was 22 and had time for all of that, I probably looked like her too.  Just wait until she has kids.

David:  Ya, we’ll see.  (Note that he doesn’t even try to insert a comment that I looked really nice when I was 22 or that I still do… something, ANYthing??? No.)

Fast forward to the next week when I am picking up Tyler from school with the baby in tow.

Hot teacher:  Oh, how old is he (pointing to baby)?

Me:  Ummmmmm….. (insert total awkwardness as I’m nervously trying not to check her out and realizing that I can’t even come up with the age of my own baby)  Ohhh, errr, uhhh almost 6 months.

Hot teacher:  Awe, mine’s four months.

My brain:  What the fuck???  She has a kid?

(Insert immediate self-consciousness at my unbrushed hair and the fact that I’m wearing maternity clothes yet not pregnant.)

My brain:  Better hope she doesn’t have a few kids already, or you’re really gonna look like you can’t pull yourself together.

Me:  Oh, is he your first?

Hot teacher:  Yep.

Fast forward to driving in the car.  I call David.

Me:  Well, I have bad news.  The hot teacher has a baby.

David:  How old?

Me:  (prepare for white lie)  Same as ours.

David:  Well, at least you have something to blog about.

Me:  Fakldsjfwioerfaw;efj;ksfj;lk bye.

For the record, David wasn’t joking when he said she was out of his league.  He was just using the wrong male brain and speaking before he used the right brain to think about it.  Good thing I went to all that therapy to learn confidence, or I’d be a basket case right about now….

And that’s it for the first Would Ya Wednesday.

What do you think?  What would you have said to him if you were me?

 

mommy blog stupid husband

photo credit: andres musta via photopin cc

Have a “would you rather” question you like to pose to the Mom Light Facebook page and then blog about?  Email me at kellysteele3@gmail.com or read more info.

Comments

  1. Men are really dumb asses sometimes and truly can’t even hide what they are thinking. I guess we should be thankful for that, but I know it would peeved me just slightly. And that last comment would so have been made about, “Now I could blog about it!” So can relate there Kelly. As for what I would have said, probably would have had a few four letter word choices!!
    Janine Huldie recently posted..The Mommy Uniform…My Profile

  2. Kelly, this is hilarious. Glad you’re confident enough to take a foot-in-your-mouth comment like that in stride. Besides, maybe the hot teacher has an army of nannies and personal assistants to help her look like that. You never know!
    Laura @ Stroller Parking Only recently posted..How To Hide Your Peanut Butter AddictionMy Profile

    • Kelly says:

      Well… doubtful being that she’s a preschool teachr.. I’m guessing the income isn’t amazing. I did tell myself that hopefully she doesn’t breastfeed because that’s the one thing really dragging me down these days. If she does, then I might just shoot myself in the eye although she also isn’t doing it with a toddler running around either so….

  3. LOL!!! Oh my goodness this is funny I am sorry it happened to you. When my sister had not lost her baby weight and friend hers had lost weight she complained “I am SOOOO fat” He said “Oh your not that fat…”
    She cried.
    Happy Little Feet recently posted..Spicy Caramelized PecansMy Profile

    • Kelly says:

      hahaha, oh no! men just don’t think sometimes!! I have to say that I was pretty crushed at the time he said this, but am pretty much over it now thanks to my confidence training aka therapy haha!

  4. I would very much like that teacher’s phone number. Oh wait, she has a child. Pass.
    Delfin Joaquin Paris III recently posted..One Month To Go – Don’t Screw It Up!My Profile

  5. Meredith says:

    “Don’t make me care what I look like again. You know we already don’t have enough time in the day.” Best.line.ever. Kelly, I’m dying. And that he signed the whole thing off as blog fodder? Perfect!
    Meredith recently posted..What Moms REALLY Want for Christmas: Week 2My Profile

  6. Randi says:

    Love your blog!! Here’s one from the genius, may-not-ever-get-laid-again in my life… In my dark bedroom next to the window with blinds slightly open, I was undressing after a brutal P90X workout -my attempt to remove the weight that didn’t ‘just fall off’ while breast feeding. My husband says, “whoa, no one wants to see that jelly but me!” and rushed over to close the blinds. I think even he was a little shocked at his diarrhea of the mouth. Is it treachery to take Beyonce out of context?

    • Kelly says:

      Oh man. Men just don’t think sometimes. My one friend’s husband told her that he was “ready to see her in her old clothes.” WTF???? They just don’t think before speaking…

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