For our first “Would Ya Wednesday,” I posed the question:
Would you rather have your husband tell you not to worry about your son’s new hot teacher because she is “way out of his league” OR would you rather find out after the job interview that your skirt was tucked into your panty hose almost showing your ass??
The Mom Light Facebook fans weighed in, and the majority of you thought it would be worse to have your underwear tucked into your panty hose for a job interview. Most said that if their husband said something like the above, he would have been joking.
Well the answer is that I almost went into a job interview with my skirt tucked into my panty hose, but caught it at the last minute, which means that my husband actually did say the above, and here’s how it went down:
Me: Did you see Tyler’s new, really pretty teacher?
David: No. I’ll have to check her out. (insert shit eating grin)
Fast forward to David calling me the next morning after dropping Tyler off at school.
David: So, I just saw the girl you were talking about, and she is VERY, very attractive.
Me: Oh, that’s nice. (read that in the heaviest sarcasm you can imagine)
David: Don’t worry. She’s totally out of my league.
Me: Nice (sarcastic, obviously). Don’t make me care what I look like again. You know we already don’t have enough time in the day. What if I had to add in working out, makeup, and tanning? I mean when I was 22 and had time for all of that, I probably looked like her too. Just wait until she has kids.
David: Ya, we’ll see. (Note that he doesn’t even try to insert a comment that I looked really nice when I was 22 or that I still do… something, ANYthing??? No.)
Fast forward to the next week when I am picking up Tyler from school with the baby in tow.
Hot teacher: Oh, how old is he (pointing to baby)?
Me: Ummmmmm….. (insert total awkwardness as I’m nervously trying not to check her out and realizing that I can’t even come up with the age of my own baby) Ohhh, errr, uhhh almost 6 months.
Hot teacher: Awe, mine’s four months.
My brain: What the fuck??? She has a kid?
(Insert immediate self-consciousness at my unbrushed hair and the fact that I’m wearing maternity clothes yet not pregnant.)
My brain: Better hope she doesn’t have a few kids already, or you’re really gonna look like you can’t pull yourself together.
Me: Oh, is he your first?
Hot teacher: Yep.
Fast forward to driving in the car. I call David.
Me: Well, I have bad news. The hot teacher has a baby.
David: How old?
Me: (prepare for white lie) Same as ours.
David: Well, at least you have something to blog about.
Me: Fakldsjfwioerfaw;efj;ksfj;lk bye.
For the record, David wasn’t joking when he said she was out of his league. He was just using the wrong male brain and speaking before he used the right brain to think about it. Good thing I went to all that therapy to learn confidence, or I’d be a basket case right about now….
And that’s it for the first Would Ya Wednesday.
What do you think? What would you have said to him if you were me?