Since there’s not much in this world that makes me feel less sexy than my post baby body, I was having an extra hard time getting in the “mood” this year. Rather than pass him the lotion and a dirty magazine, I came up with some ideas on how to help myself feel sexy. I tend to think that being sexy is more a feeling than a look, and although I make my share of jokes when I write, these ideas legitimately helped me follow through with my annual obligations.
How to Feel Sexy:
- STEP 1 – Shower power. Shave while you’re in there too. I promise this helps with the mojo.
- STEP 2 – Drink. Not for the purpose of hydration, but with the intention of throwing your inhibitions out the window. Have your significant other drink a bit too.
- STEP 3 – Set the mood. Turn the lights off!!! This is about all I have time for; I mean I wouldn’t want to cut into my mommy blogging time for sex, right? In a time crunch, I don’t do fancy candles or anything, but I have found that dimming the lights to the point we are merely silhouettes in the night covers many imperfections.
- STEP 4 – Ditch the moo moo and/or 10 year old yoga pants. If you’re like me, whatever you’re wearing probably isn’t sexy looking or feeling, so ditch it. If you have time or money, pick up something that does make you feel sexy be it lingerie or a revealing outfit. If you don’t have time, I’m sure nudity will do, and if you’re uncomfortable with that, this is where steps 2 & 3 really help.
- STEP 5 – Hold me closer baby (so close you can’t see me) and just in case, close your fucking eyes. I typically tell my husband, “Don’t look at me. I may smell different because I showered, but don’t look too closely or you might throw up.” This works for me because it makes me feel less self-conscious when he’s not eyeing me up too much. Supposedly a lot of men need visuals, but I’ve never come across a situation in which I couldn’t paint a dirty picture with words to substitute for him gawking at my post baby belly.
As you can see, these are some pretty basic “steps” to feeling sexy. Sure a magazine would list 10 other things including makeup, spray tanning, working out (gasppppp), and actually doing yoga in your yoga pants, but these 5 things are all that I have time for right now and they actually work!
Anything else you would add to the real mom guide to feeling sexy?