The Real Mom Guide to Feeling Sexy in 5 Simple Steps

 

mommy blog guide to feeling sexy as a real womanFor me, Halloween is much more than just a binge candy eating pig fest.  It’s also my husband’s birthday, which can only mean one thing – the obligatory birthday sex…… uh oh…

Since there’s not much in this world that makes me feel less sexy than my post baby body, I was having an extra hard time getting in the “mood” this year.  Rather than pass him the lotion and a dirty magazine, I came up with some ideas on how to help myself feel sexy.  I tend to think that being sexy is more a feeling than a look, and although I make my share of jokes when I write, these ideas legitimately helped me follow through with my annual obligations.

How to Feel Sexy:

  • STEP 1 – Shower power.  Shave while you’re in there too.  I promise this helps with the mojo.
  • STEP 2 – Drink.  Not for the purpose of hydration, but with the intention of throwing your inhibitions out the window.  Have your significant other drink a bit too.
  • STEP 3 – Set the mood.  Turn the lights off!!! This is about all I have time for; I mean I wouldn’t want to cut into my mommy blogging time for sex, right?  In a time crunch, I don’t do fancy candles or anything, but I have found that dimming the lights to the point we are merely silhouettes in the night covers many imperfections.
  • STEP 4 – Ditch the moo moo and/or 10 year old yoga pants.  If you’re like me, whatever you’re wearing probably isn’t sexy looking or feeling, so ditch it.  If you have time or money, pick up something that does make you feel sexy be it lingerie or a revealing outfit.  If you don’t have time, I’m sure nudity will do, and if you’re uncomfortable with that, this is where steps 2 & 3 really help.
  • STEP 5 – Hold me closer baby (so close you can’t see me) and just in case, close your fucking eyes.  I typically tell my husband, “Don’t look at me.  I may smell different because I showered, but don’t look too closely or you might throw up.”  This works for me because it makes me feel less self-conscious when he’s not eyeing me up too much.  Supposedly a lot of men need visuals, but I’ve never come across a situation in which I couldn’t paint a dirty picture with words to substitute for him gawking at my post baby belly.

As you can see, these are some pretty basic “steps” to feeling sexy.  Sure a magazine would list 10 other things including makeup, spray tanning, working out (gasppppp), and actually doing yoga in your yoga pants, but these 5 things are all that I have time for right now and they actually work!

Anything else you would add to the real mom guide to feeling sexy?

photo credit: sally_monster via photopin cc

Comments

  1. Great list and think you pretty much summed it up nicely and now I don’t have to waste that extra money on a magazine to tell me how to feel sexy, lol!! No seriously awesome list and so on the money if you are a mom and have kids on how to make yourself feel sexy again to be intimate with your husband.
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  3. Venassa says:

    Oh does step two ever work. If all else fails, step two almost always does the trick.
    Venassa recently posted..My 13 month old with the attitudeMy Profile

  4. esty says:

    You are hilarious! Thanks for the tips! I’m pregnant with my 2nd right now and I feel sexy when I’m actually in the mood to do my husband! This is NOT accomplished by him complimenting my huge pregnant ass nope- this only happens on the rare occasions when he does something amazing – like mopping the floor! Nothing gets me hotter than watching my husband mop the floor! So I’ve actually told my hubby how sexy he looks mopping -and this has helped our sex life (and our floors) immensely!
    Btw I’m so happy to have found this blog, s/1 had posted it on my pregnancy website, keep up the good work!

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