“You look great for just having a baby” is a phrase used exclusively by two groups of people: idiots lacking self-awareness and jealous bitches who use it as a backhanded compliment in a passive aggressive manner.
In case you fall into the idiots lacking self-awareness category, I’ll be nice and offer you some tips, but I’m going to be blunt – it is NEVER ok to say to a post partum woman, “you look great for just having a baby.” Unless, of course, you are looking to be punched in the throat courtesy of a hormone induced rage fit.
Some people think that on the surface the “you look great for just having a baby” statement looks innocent, maybe even complimentary, but it’s the word “for” that is the problem because it is conditional. If you take out the condition, “just had a baby,” the statement implies the compliment “you look great” is no longer true.
It’s probably a better choice to steer away from body image discussions with women in general, but for some reason, much of the general public feels that they must say something about a pregnant or post partum woman’s body.
For those that find they must comment, and are at a loss for words now that I’ve taken “you look great for having a baby” out of their arsenal, here are some alternative suggestions that may help avoid injury to the larynx area:
- That’s your baby? No way!?!? I thought you were the hot nanny!
- You look so great that when I found out you just had a baby I crapped myself a little bit.
- Your slim and trim figure makes the models in the Sport’s Illustrated Swimsuit edtion look like a herd of lard eating elephants.
- Your hotness makes me want to fist pump like an 80’s Journey song.
- Your ass is tighter than a 16 year old gymnast…. in Spanx!
These five suggested phrases were created by a renowned expert in hormone rage fits and have been deemed least likely to result in a verbal or physical beating. I wouldn’t advise deviating from the list.
I’ve already given a lot of free tips here, but I’m feeling generous so here’s one more – when in doubt, close your mouth!
Now, go ahead and tell me how fabulous I look REGARDLESS of having a baby in the comments below.