“You look great for just having a baby” is a phrase used exclusively by two groups of people: idiots lacking self-awareness and jealous bitches who use it as a backhanded compliment in a passive aggressive manner.
In case you fall into the idiots lacking self-awareness category, I’ll be nice and offer you some tips, but I’m going to be blunt – it is NEVER ok to say to a post partum woman, “you look great for just having a baby.” Unless, of course, you are looking to be punched in the throat courtesy of a hormone induced rage fit.
Some people think that on the surface the “you look great for just having a baby” statement looks innocent, maybe even complimentary, but it’s the word “for” that is the problem because it is conditional. If you take out the condition, “just had a baby,” the statement implies the compliment “you look great” is no longer true.
It’s probably a better choice to steer away from body image discussions with women in general, but for some reason, much of the general public feels that they must say something about a pregnant or post partum woman’s body.
For those that find they must comment, and are at a loss for words now that I’ve taken “you look great for having a baby” out of their arsenal, here are some alternative suggestions that may help avoid injury to the larynx area:
- That’s your baby? No way!?!? I thought you were the hot nanny!
- You look so great that when I found out you just had a baby I crapped myself a little bit.
- Your slim and trim figure makes the models in the Sport’s Illustrated Swimsuit edtion look like a herd of lard eating elephants.
- Your hotness makes me want to fist pump like an 80’s Journey song.
- Your ass is tighter than a 16 year old gymnast…. in Spanx!
These five suggested phrases were created by a renowned expert in hormone rage fits and have been deemed least likely to result in a verbal or physical beating. I wouldn’t advise deviating from the list.
I’ve already given a lot of free tips here, but I’m feeling generous so here’s one more – when in doubt, close your mouth!
Now, go ahead and tell me how fabulous I look REGARDLESS of having a baby in the comments below.
Oh, I had so many thing to write here. All funny. All mean.
Truth is you did look very fit at BlogHer. I don’t hit on married moms, so I can say that without any disingenuous intent.
But, on the last day the mom jeans you wore from Pennys, those… well… sucked.
Delfin Joaquin Paris III recently posted..Finally Starting That Thing – Let’s Get Fixed
I am coming up on my one year anniversary of not working out… It’s a big deal, so I don’t want to spoil it, but maybe after that I’ll get back in the gym!
Great tips! I particularly like being commented on looking so tired.
Happy Little Feet recently posted..7 things I learned this week
Ugh I forgot about that one. I guess I don’t go in public enough for people to see me.
Spot on. It was so hard to smile through my gritted teeth at my coworker who said those very words to me.
Myndee recently posted..We interrupt regularly scheduled posting….
That’s the worst because it’s at work and you have to remain professional. I suppose I could have added a PC one to the list like “Thank you for commenting on my body. It in no way (heavy sarcasm) makes me want to report this conversation to HR.”
Those are very great phrases to keep in mind : ) Love the 15 year old gymnast one the best! Thank you for sharing over at Stephanie’s blog today. I love how much you love your baby : )
Life with Kaishon recently posted..7th grade
Aw thanks. My two little boys and my husband are the most important things to me
I will never forget when I was in the thick of it – my boys were 6 and newborn, and my FIL asked me if I was doing drugs because my eyes “looked funny”. I told him “No. This is what over 40 with two young children looks like.” That and I was wearing new pink eye shadow I thought would make me look “perky”. Instead, it probably made me look like Courtney Love.
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted..An Open Letter To J. Crew
Lol! That’s the second worst thing when people are like “oh you look tired”….. it’s like really????
HaHA!!! So funny! Thanks for breaking down why exactly that is the worst thing ever to say to a woman who is postpartum, And I LOVE your alternatives–they would all work, though the Journey song one would really rock my world
Meredith recently posted..Life’s a Beach Walk
Don’t stop belieeeving!!!