More thoughts on judging people…
Although Wal-Mart skeeves me out a bit, I have been known to go there on occasion. I mean it’s cheap, and I like saving money, but I’m too ADD for the whole couponing thing. Side note – if anyone would like to clip some coupons for me, I will kiss you, A LOT.
Anyway, on a recent trip to Wal-Mart, I had an awakening and realized a few important things:
1. Appearance does matter. Although I have resumed brushing my teeth (and hair on a good day), I should reconsider my post baby wardrobe and overall appearance when in public so as not to be mistaken for an ex-Jerry Springer guest.
2. Since I can’t fit my wedding ring until I lose the last 8-10lbs, my husband should spend a lot of money (that we don’t have) and buy me a really pretty interim wedding ring (hey hot pants, are you reading this?). I won’t be able to lose the weight until I’m done breastfeeding, which is hopefully a year, so I may need a substitute ring in the mean time. Please send my hubby the memo on this.
3. Don’t lie just because you feel awkward telling the truth.
What, you wonder, caused me to have these three amazing revelations? No, it wasn’t the greeter. No, it wasn’t the really helpful people in electronics…. Keep guessing. Ah, yes – the checkout girl. At first, she seemed really nice. Then… things got awkwarddddd.
To give her some credit, I was shopping by myself, buying diapers, not wearing a wedding ring, and I suppose the combo of sleep deprivation and air-dried hair that’s been in a ponytail for 2 months might have made me look a bit criminally insane, but still. She just assumed that I was a single mother that would understand and/or follow her story. Maybe I’m not as smart as I look because I had a hard time following….
Wanda (checkout girl): You’re having a baby?
Me: No, I already did. He’s just a few weeks old.
Wanda: Oh, is he your first? (note – no apology for assuming I was pregnant)
Me: No, actually I have a 2 year old too.
Wanda: Me too. It’s hard being a single parent, isn’t it?
My brain: Ummm, this is awkward. What to do? What to do?
Me: Ya, it is.
My brain: Really Kelly? A million things you could have said and that’s what you came up with???
Wanda: Are they both from the same dad?
Me: Ya.
My brain: At least you got something right. Hopefully anyway……..
Wanda: Oh that’s good because it’s much worse dealing with 2 exes.
Me: I can imagine.
Wanda: People are already talking about Christmas and my mom hates the father of my second kid. So, she says she’s not buying my kid nothing for Christmas because that’s his dad’s job. But his dad is a piece of crap, and I know he’s gonna spend all of his money on the skank he cheated on me with. That skank has two kids of her own, and she wants those kids to be with mine on her sons first birthday, but I said, “I don’t want my kids hanging out with no trashy skank who stole my man.” So we aren’t going. Now his dad’s all mad and up in my biznass, calling me jealous and stuff. I’m not jealous. She can have him. I’m going out with her ex anyway.
My brain: Huh? Have I said anything in awhile? It’s hot in here. I think I forgot to lock my car. This suddenly seems like a place where I am highly concerned about whether my car is locked or not.
Wanda: My new guy is a better man any way, any day. His second kid’s mom was on pills so he kept the kid and is raising him himself like the man that he is.
Me: Oh, wow, ya I don’t have to deal with any of that.
Wanda: It’s one o’ three thirty three.
Me: What time?
Wanda: The bill.
Me: Oh ya.
My brain: Thank goodness I’m getting the hell out of here.
Confession – the above is mostly completely made up because I can’t remember all of this whose dad is whose ex’s baby’s momma with their second child’s granddad BS, and Wanda sounded like it could probably be her name. The memory loss is not my fault. I have mommy brain, but you get the gist of the conversation.
My overall point here is that this woman judged, based on my appearance, that I was also single and in a similar situation, which means two things:
1. Holy shit, I need to pull myself together.
2. Don’t judge a book by its cover. I mean you would never judge someone’s looks by their profile pic on a dating website, so don’t make assumptions about them in real life either. Unless you think I actually look like my picture on this blog, then you can make judgments all you want.
Book. Cover. Don’t judge that shit. End of rant.
How did you type with such fat fingers?
Delfin Joaquin Paris III recently posted..Criticism – Let’s Get Fixed
Small hands…. smell like cabbage.
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I find it interesting that the comment spam for this particular post was from this particular website. I suppose the spam bots are searching for their target customer and anyone who goes to wal-mart seems appropriate. Or maybe it was the picture for the post….
Dang! What is it about those Walmart cashiers that they immediately dive right in and give you every excruciating detail of their extremely effed up life stories. Happens every time. Yours was a doozie. Hilarious post. Listen, since I’ve seen you in person, I am at liberty to state for the record that you not only look like your profile pic, but even better. So you just brush your hair and take your bad self to Tarjay next time. Loved the line…”what time is it?” LOL
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted..Boston Cake Cooler
haha, well I live at least 45 min from Target so maybe I’ll send hubby to Wal-Mart next time
Ha! I had the same revelation a couple weeks after having my second…only, I don’t shop at wal-mart often either, so my experience wasn’t quite so memorable…
This was the worst of my experiences, but I have had similar awkward encounters where people assume I’m a single, struggling parent. I’ll own the struggling part, but I need to geer a fake wedding ring or something lol!
OMG, how dare her assume you have anything in common. It’s a pet peeve of mine when cashiers ask me about the items I’m purchasing. When she asked if you were having a baby, you should’ve told her, “NO, I have a diaper fetish but might move up to Pull-Ups soon!” That probably would’ve shut her up for a minute
Marie recently posted..Shout Out to the Woman Who Tried to Mow Down My Kids in the Parking Lot
Haha, well I did buy adult diapers to wear when in labor… maybe I’ll write a post on that one soon haha
Awesome!!! Seems like cashiers everywhere have diarrhea of the mouth
Ashley recently posted..Top ten reasons to remember your birth control..
Amen!
I laughed at your blog but if it were me, I would have been HORRIFIED by the turn in the conversation…I have to say, I am not a fan of Walmart; this is just confirms my perception…
Lol, I didn’t know what to do because I should have disclosed that I was married… I was like what if she starts asking questions and this gets anymore awkward!
Great stuff. Love it! Had a similar experience recently, but it was just the strangest duck I have ever met. Talking about the “toilet being clogged and I shocked what comes out of the human body.” quote. I could go on, but I know some need to eat breakfast.
gross!!!
I have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard!!
Thanks for the laugh! I have to share this with my friends for sure!!
Michelle recently posted..Super Power: The Power To Make A Decision
haha thanks! I can’t wait to read your motivational posts
Hilarious. And since I have a newborn, peeing myself laughing!
Carrie recently posted..Kindergarten Countdown
post baby lack of bladder control is awesome